Sitting in class today, I suddenly became aware of my pulse. Somehow, the way my head was resting on my hand allowed me to feel it quite well, and I sat for a few moments pondering the faithful beating of my heart, pulsing blood rhythmically throughout my body.
I thought of the life-giving quality of blood, and it's theological importance in the Scriptures. I considered the vulnerability of my physical life, and it's dependence on this precious substance. But what struck me the most in those few moments of philosophical musings about the steady rise and fall of the veins beneath my skin, was my lack of control over the whole process.
At any given moment, my heart could have ceased to function, and the pulse I was paying such close attention to could have vanished. And, had that been the case, I could have done nothing to prevent it.
My life depends every moment on the continual functioning of various organs and intricate parts, most of which I have absolutely no power over. Personal conscious effort does not keep my heart beating or my lungs inhaling and exhaling. What is more, if I were suddenly given the responsibility of maintaining my own cardiovascular system, I would quickly perish, unable to sustain its basic function. Quite simply, I wouldn't know how. I lack the understanding and the power to make these vital systems work, yet I am constantly dependent on them for my own survival.
In a period of mere moments, the assumed simplicity of my pulse became to me a wonder beyond my comprehension. It humbles me to acknowledge that I do not even have the ability to sustain my own life. It humbles me, but it does not trouble me. For the second I admit that I do not cause the beating of my heart, I am am aware that Someone does.
My God, the Creator and Sustainer of all things, chooses to involve Himself intimately in the moment by moment preservation my life. I am dependent on Him, and by the word of His mouth my pulse pulses, speaking unspeakable comfort to me. Labels: Bible/theology, reflections